Monday, December 12, 2011

Thoughts from the Rooster Breath Theater

Who put the dip stick in the egg plant?

What rat fed coconut oil to the hamster?

Better yet, how did the goose snot get in your cheese sandwich?

Not all iguanas suffer post partum depression.

There is no underwear for American Eagles that compound interest in the war effort.

Never mind how the worms found the lettuce.

Rubin Schnickle eats blue berry pancakes with horseradish.

Keeping in mind the myth of the cross-eyed seamstress and her mother, Olga Crumbuckle.

Ever since Mirabel got caught sucking graham crackers in the attic.

So what if Charlie eats hot dogs in his nightgown?

No tax addendums for sugar ants.

You can’t blame the war on disenchanted walnuts.

Sam won’t buy apples from the bird vendor.

If and when Hercules gets a breast implant.

Needless to say, the rabbit population doesn’t suffer from black holes.

Every so often Genghis Khan stops at the river for some KFC.

Why is the price of a gas pump less 8 cents tax, worth your child as ransom?

Just because someone asks for your Social Security Number doesn’t mean you have to buy them a Happy Meal.

If a man calls a President by his last name you might think he is grown up.

Who ate the community goat?

Chicken breath may be sold as hallucinogenic fowl.

This is the second course based on rattlesnake egg whites designed for two-timing politicians.

Who put the adhesive in the chocolate cookies?

Androids are now on sale at Wal Mart.

The case of the asymmetrical sphinx.

The case of the mindless canary advertising Tide Liquid.

Small lapses in the future of ironing boards based on faulty IRAs.

The dog maker took umbrage in blue handkerchiefs with white trim.

Mabel believed until he took her red hat.

Chipmunks can’t vote so folks in Florida might consider independent raccoons.

Speaking of independence-Did you hear about the man who froze his dead mother for two years?

To answer your question: a plethora of recent examples personifies the conviction stated in the premise.

Ramifications on the brink of destruction-Or why pick a dead pigeon out of a pie?

And remember, in America, there is no discount for quiet desperation.


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